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Comfort Foods and Cook Books

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Cooking homemade turkey chili for dinner.

Comfort Foods and CookBooks

A Winning Combination in Assisted Living

By, Mary L Brook, Associate Executive Director

What makes comfort foods and cookbooks, a winning combination in an Assisted Living community? It comes as a result of the nostalgia it creates when residents, staff, and families remember their favorite foods. People are passionate about food, especially in an Assisted Living community. They are so excited to talk about and remember where they were and how the food smelled and tasted.
However, not everyone has the same favorite comfort food. As a child, I remember eating grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup on a rainy afternoon? I always looked forward to Thursday night dinner because it was always Tuna and Noodle Casserole with Potato Chips on top. Growing up I had a feeling of comfort knowing the rhythm and routine of my favorite food served at regular schedule date. But my comfort food may not be your comfort food.
Chicago Chef and inventor Homaro Cantu was an internationally recognized chef and leader in the field of postmodern cuisine and an inventor of futuristic food delivery systems. Even though his food inventions focused on the future, he knew about comfort foods and felt they are an important part of the food experience. He said, “Most of us have fond memories of food from our childhood. Whether it was our mom's homemade lasagna or a memorable chocolate birthday cake, food has a way of transporting us back to the past.” Read More. By Kieran Morris, “How a Homeless Child Grew Up to Become the Most Inventive Chef in History,”
Food can be creative as well as fun. It can bring about a time of joy and laughter that creating wonderful memories for the people at the table. If you want to awaken old memories go to your favorite comfort foods from your childhood to recreate the feelings of nostalgia. However, if you want to create new memories that can be associated with a certain time and place try a new recipe. Cooking or baking with grandchildren is one way to create new food memories that they can recall later in life. Food memories are meant to be shared with family and friends. By sharing food together with your loved ones, you develop a deeper connection with those around you. Whatever comfort food you remember connects you to family, friends, and your immediate environment. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside as you imagine the smell, taste, and texture of the meals you created. Best of all, these foods conjure up memories of a special time or place from a long time ago without a conscious effort.
 Susan Brauss Whitbourne, PH.D. ABPP, a Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, is an expert in personality development. Her research includes a wide variety of subjects that focus on aging. In her post OF August 19, 2017, in Psychology Today, Entitled,  “What Your Earliest Food Memories Say About You,” she talks about the food you ate in childhood becoming an emotional memory and part of your sense of self as an adult. Her findings tell us, “Without realizing it, these emotional memories, associated with both the food you ate and the atmosphere in which you ate it, have become part of your adult sense of self.”
Family recipes are fun to share with others. We have created a Cook Book at Alexander Gardens Assisted Living giving our residents the opportunity to share their favorite comfort food while preserving our resident's history to share for future generations.
At Alexander Gardens the chef prepares a family recipe that residents have submitted for the AG Cook Book. By preparing his or her favorite recipe the resident is reminded of a time when they prepared the same recipe for a loved one. Sharing the recipe with the rest of the residents gives the person a sense of belonging and purpose. Each dish has a story and the resident loves to tell

Baby Boomer Burnout

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Back Pain

Baby Boomer Burnout

The 5 Best Cures for Baby Boomer Burnout!

by Mary Brook Associate Executive Director
Burnout. It is real and it will creep up on you. It is insidious: You may not notice it until it arrives. It starts as a nagging feeling that something is just not right but you can’t fix it. You feel tired all the time and a little dark cloud hangs over your head. You tell people you are doing fine but smiling takes an effort, it feels forced, although you keep on going. Your head is hanging so low you don’t notice the small things in life anymore.
For the last 20 years life has been at high speed and suddenly your lifestyle isn’t working for you. You feel sandwiched between taking care of your parents, caring for your family, working too hard and never taking a break to think about yourself.
According to Joe Robinson, author, trainer, and keynote speaker,  “burnout is a serious medical condition that can set off other problems—depression, stroke, suicidal thoughts, breakdown. The last stage of chronic stress, burnout occurs
when all your energetic resources—emotional, physical, and mental—have been used up.”
The causes of burnout are different for everyone. Caregiver burnout from the task of caregiving is emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a baby boomer sandwiched between taking care of your aging parents, spouses, or the grandkids, caregiving burnout is real and needs to be recognized.
In addition to caregiving, work is one of the most common causes of burnout. If your work is monotonous, high pressured, and unappreciated stress may be a consequence of the work environment and constant stress leads to burnout.
Other causes of burnout are related to your own lifestyle and or personality traits. The pace of your life at high speed can cause burnout. Never taking the time to “stop and smell the roses” may leave you feeling empty and not connected with friends and family. Your own personality can cause you stress. If you have a need to be perfect or in control of every decision in your life, you may be at higher risk of burnout. Holding on to your high expectations can cause stress especially when life doesn’t go as planned.
Here are some of the symptoms of burnout:
  1. You wake up every day with an empty feeling in your heart and mind, or feeling totally exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  2. You feel like you have nothing left to give to your family and those around you, and you don’t care about anyone or anything.
  3. You are not motivated to go to work, clean the house, or take care of yourself.
  4. Your vision of the world is heavy and dark, your fatigue blinds you and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
  5. You feel like there is nothing to look forward to in your life because your cup is empty, not even half full.
  6. When you reach the point of burnout you feel like you don’t know how to fix it.
  7. You wake up in the morning and the only thing you think about is wanting to feel better.
  8. You just want to get your life under control and get rid of everything that is causing you pressure.
If you have reached that point of burnout you know it is time to pause and hit the stop button. Take a deep breath, step back, and start taking care of yourself. Pushing through burnout can have serious consequences that will potentially manifest in the body in the form of illness. If you are feeling chronically stressed it is time to take a serious look at being burned out!
Taking the first step towards wellness doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Curing burnout doesn’t happen overnight. Take one day at a time. Stop and imagine what your day should look like and plan steps to make your day go as what you imagined. Write your plan down.
Set your goals for the day and prioritize your responsibilities by putting your goals first. Don’t make excuses about not having enough time or attending to someone who may need you. If you make the commitment to take care of yourself it is important to keep your commitment. In order to make it happen, you may have to get up an hour early or not watch TV at night. But if your goal is to feel better you must have the energy, desire, and motivation to take care of yourself.
The 5 Best Baby Boomer cures for Burnout!
  1. Let go. Quit trying to take care of everything by yourself. Ask for help. Ask your family, friends, church, work, neighbors, social workers, and anyone who can lend an ear or a helping hand. Don’t be afraid to let go. It will always work out in the end.
  2. Eat how you want to feel. Eating a healthy diet will make you feel better and lighten your mood. If you are stressed and eat candy, cookies, and cake you will feel heavy and sluggish. Making little changes in your diet over time will make a big difference in how you feel. Remember to take one day at a time.
  3. Exercise on a regular basis. Exercise doesn’t have to be an hour at the gym every day. It can be a walk outside or working in the garden. The feeling of being outdoors is freeing and invigorating. Park your car at the end of the parking lot and walk briskly to the door. Stand up at your desk if you have been sitting for a long time. Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
  4. Mind your P’s and Q’s. Saying please and thank you can change the way you feel. When you are polite and on your best behavior you can trick your mind into believing you feel better. It’s mind over matter. Every day you have a choice when you wake up. Chose to feel better and do everything you can to make it happen.
  5. At the end of the day congratulate yourself and be grateful for what you did do versus what you didn’t do. Feeling grateful makes you appreciate what you did for yourself. If you take care of yourself you can take care of others.
Stress can cause serious problems with your health, personal life, and affect your view of the world. It's important to stop, take a deep breath, and start to take care of yourself.

Honoring 30 Years of Care

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Honoring 30 years of Caring!

Lupe Vargas embodies the values and principles that provides a higher standard of care at Alexander Gardens Assisted Living. She has worked as a Certified Nursing Assistant, at the Alexander Gardens community for the past 30 years. When she started at Alexander Gardens, Ronald Regan was President and a gallon of gas was 97cents. The Average Cost of new house $120,000.00, Average Income per year $27,450, Average Monthly Rent $420.00, Average Price for new car $15,350.00.

Things have changed since 1989, but Lupe remains steadfast in her loyalty and dedication to the Alexander Garden’s residents. Her responsibilities reach beyond the residents as she helps train new caregivers to the gold standard of lifestyle at Alexander Gardens. Lupe always arrives to work on time and ready to begin the day with positive energy. She is a support for the staff and families in times of need.

Lupe’s presence is felt throughout the community and can be seen in her Flora arrangements. The residents and staff enjoy the beautiful flowers each week and appreciate her arrangements in the offices and main living areas of the house.

Her attention to detail is felt in the resident’s room. When she makes a bed she you know Lupe has made it. It would pass with flying colors any class A inspection. As she hangs her resident’s clothing she takes her time and handles with care. She always wears her name badge and is dressed professionally at all times. Her integrity is a role model for others. Her talents and efforts help others achieve excellence throughout the community. The residents appreciate her as well as the staff and families.

In addition to her Alexander Gardens family, Lupe takes care of her family, a husband of 30 years, two grown sons and a teenage son, and grandchildren. She shares her love with all the residents.

Lupe’s vision for the residents is “nothing is impossible.” “ I want everyone to look nice and feel good about themselves.” Lupe gives her best with loving care in every aspect of their lives. Thank you, Lupe, for your 30 years of caring!

 

 

Senior Fraud and Cyber Security

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Senior Fraud and Cyber Security
by Mary Brook
Julia was having lunch with a friend from work when her phone rang. She saw it was her Mom normally, she would wait to call her Mom back but this was the second time her Mom had called her during lunch “Hi Mom, what’s up?” she asked.
“Julia are you ok?” her Mom asked?  “ I had a phone call saying you had been in a car accident and are being held in jail. They said to send money for your release.”
Mom, “I’m fine don’t worry the person on the phone was trying to exhort money from you with a scary story.” Julia could hear the anxiety in her Mother’s voice and she tried to reassure her she was alright.
“But Julia, her Mom exclaimed, it felt real and I was so scared it was hard to think straight. But, I remembered you and I talked about phone scams and if someone calls saying to send money I was to call you.” ” Thank goodness you are safe and thank you for taking the time to prepare me for phone scams,” her Mom said.
What Julia and her Mom experienced is a very common and easy to do phone scam. An imposter calls an elderly person stating a family member is in trouble and asks the family member to send them money to bail them out of jail usually by wire transfer. To make matters worse many times a senior will not share the phone experience with a family member because they are too embarrassed.
Julia was proactive in helping her Mom overcome the desire to send money to strangers. By talking to her in advance about what may happen in a scam helped her Mom feel in control of the situation. But just talking may not be enough. Printing out a list of scams and placing them by the phone or computer is a visual reminder for an elderly parent about scams.
After reviewing what happened with her Mom Julia decided to set up Nomorobo , a Robo and telemarketing prevention application that blocks unwanted calls but allows legal calls through.
Whether it’s phone scams or cyber security fraud the cost to seniors is $328 million a year affecting one in five people, according to AARP and FTC. wwwaarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2018/grandparent-scam-scenarios.html
 There are many other types of senior scams. To see a complete list of Top Ten Financial Scams Targeting Seniors, read The National Council on Aging in-depth article, “Top 10 Financial Scams Targeting Seniors.”
How to prevent senior fraud to your family and friends. Maria Bass, store manager with Umpqua Bank in East Placerville, CA offers financial tips to help the seniors in her community.
Many families find it’s hard to talk with their parents about scams but having the talk is an important part of prevention. Parents can be stubborn but keeping open communication about the phone and computer will bring peace of mind to everyone.

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Assisted Living

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“The meaning of life is to find your gift. 

The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso

Finding Purpose and Meaning in Assisted Living 

by Mary Lynn Brook

The Pigeons, Cannes, 1957 by Pablo Picasso

How to find your purpose and meaning living in a senior living environment. What is your reason for getting out of bed each morning? Have you noticed some residents living in an Assisted Living community are happy and others not, but what makes them feel this way? Some have purpose and meaning in their day and this allows them to have direction and motivation in their lives. Sally lives in a beautiful assisted living community. The historical building sits on an acre of land with mature landscape. Her apartment looks out over the front garden where she hears water fountains and birds from her window. When she gets up in the morning she goes through her daily routine but doesn’t seem happy. When asked to do something Sally will do it , but without enthusiasm or interest. She seldom joins in group activities and stays in her room most of the time. When invited to special events or on trips she never participates.

Ruth on the other hand, lives in the same assisted living. She gets up every morning with a smile on her face. When the caregivers help her with washing and dressing she thanks them. As she enters the dining room she greets her table mates in a pleasant manner. She participates in the activities offered and is always ready to help someone else if they need a helping hand.

What’s the difference between Sally and Ruth’s daily experience at the same assisted living community. Ruth has purpose and meaning in her day and this gives her direction and motivation to get out of bed and participate in the life around her. Sally goes through her day with neither purpose or meaning and doesn’t feel a reason to be a part of her assisted living community. She has no plan for her day therfore no purpose to her actions. Why is one resident happier than the other?

Patrick Hill, lead researcher of Carleton University in Canada says, “ The research has clear implications for promoting positive aging and adult development. He goes on to write an article called: Having a Sense of Purpose May Add Years to Your Life, He states, “Feeling that you have a sense of purpose in life may help you live longer, no matter what your age, according to research published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. “There are a lot of reasons to believe that being purposeful might help protect older adults more so than younger ones,” says Hill. “For instance, adults might need a sense of direction more, after they have left the workplace and lost that source for organizing their daily events. In addition, older adults are more likely to face mortality risks than younger adults.”

It doesn’t matter when you find you purpose when you do your purpose will give you direction. If Sally were to commit to say hello to her table mates in the dining room then the next day her purpose would be to get up in the morning and greet her friends at the table. Ruth has already found her purpose! She never complains and is ready with a smile when she sees her friends at the activities. According to Ruth, “There is nothing to complain about it is my responsibility in life to get up in the morning and put my best foot forward. I look forward to meals with my friends, events and activities throughout the day.”

So how do you find purpose and meaning in your life as you age?

Below are three examples of living with purpose as you age in your 90’s.

  1. For all the advice and tips handed out these days, there’s nothing quite like experience to really help you gain a perspective on life. Which is why when PTBOCanada shared an interview with Peterborough resident Kenn Grainger, 90, with us, we knew it would be worthwhile to listen.
  2. Let A 90-Year-Old Tell You Exactly How to Stay Happy in Life “If you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend.” Written by Rebecca Zamon, HuffPost, LIVING Section 15:44 EDT | Updated 08/15/2017, huffingtonpost
  3. In order to find purpose and meaning in life check out what this 90 year old had to say. According to an article in The Guardian, Lifestyle Section,com Benjamin Franklin once said, “The early morning has gold in its mouth.” The quote emphasis the importance of starting your day the right way. He also said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Franklin deliberately designed his day with a daily schedule.

No matter your age or environment purpose and meaning in your day gives you a better sense of accomplishment and achievement. Age is not important to purpose. You maybe 90 or 20 but plan to have a meaningful day and the positive results will show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s Amore

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That’s Amore!

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What does Love mean to You? By Mary Brook

(In Napoli where love is king and when boy meets girl here’s what they say)

Dean Martin

When you pick a life partner the words “I Love You” have different meanings for each of you. Love isn’t always easy and many times it’s tough. But as time goes by love changes and evolves. It takes you in different directions, challenges your determination and makes you stop to think about what love really means. What type of love do you need for a full and meaningful life? Your love language may not have the same meaning to your life partner and understanding your partner’s love language is paramount to creating a long- lasting relationship.

Love can only take you so far until you realize as the years go by love can look and feel different. Love is different at every age, according to my daughter who is in her 30’s, Love is “a period of time when you change how you think, you start from the I then change to the we.” Your love grows to include a life partner and children. After 38 years of marriage to the same person this is what I’ve learned about love.

My husband and I don’t talk the same love language but what keep us together is more than love. When time passes and love gets blurred our values shine through the gray area of love and help us focus on what is important in life at the present

time and in the future.

Our support and appreciation of each other’s strengths and weaknesses are the glue that bind us together. When times get tough we are there for each other. We let go of the small stuff and forgive the big stuff. The respect and encouragement of our separate life goals as well as our goals together and working towards those goals work for us.

Audrey Van Petegam, contributor to The HuffPost, 2/13/14 talks about the book, The Five Languages of Love, by Gary Chapman,” The Secret to Love That Lasts”, 5 Languages of Love. “The premise of the book is that we all feel and know that we are loved by how people relate to us. There are five love languages that we can fall under that make us feel truly loved. They are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Personal Touch. We, of course, will fall into more than one category but one will resonate more than the others.”

Finding the right language is the key to helping a person feel loved. Love is not just for a spouse, partner or lover. There are other relationships that are filled with love, like love for a parent, girlfriend or child. ”
During this month of love stop and ask your friends and family what does love mean to them. You will be amazed at the different answers.

These are some of definitions of love from my co-workers, friends and family.

Joseph, “Truly loving someone means that their happiness and well being are just as important to you as your own.”

Ghita-“Love our Dreams”

Dalia- “Love is fulfilling, a journey and the key to life. If you have love you have it all.”

Jackie- “ Love is family, my daughter is the love of my life”
Bruce- “That one is easy. Love is something you give to receive.” Mitch- “ Love is peace and contentment”

Luciana-“Love, to me, implies connection. I believe we all have an inherent need to build connections, whether they are connections to a person, an animal, a place, or an ideal. Loving connections define us, anchor us, nurture, and sustain us. A person without love wanders in eternal search for his own soul.

And love is fluid, changes with us as we grow older, changes with time and distance. The fluidity of it makes every loving relationship even more precious and deserving of attention — although love is so strong that even a long forgotten and neglected love can be brought back to life within an instant, like a candle that lights itself back up again after it’s been blown off. Love keeps us out of darkness.”

Mary- “ Love is a feeling that brings passion to everyday life. It’s not a fleeting moment but a deep internal drive that keeps you moving forward.”

Love is: a physical attachment, someone’s inner beauty, closeness between family, friends and people, love is life and life is everything.

Being Grateful and How it can Change Your Life!

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By Mary Brook

 

Around this time of year everyone is talking about the fast approaching holidays and how they need to hurry up and get ready to cook, shop or travel.  But what we really need to do is slow down and be grateful for the opportunity to celebrate the season.

If we take the time to truly stop and think about what the holiday season means to us hopefully it will bring a sense of happiness and wellbeing. Being grateful doesn’t have to be only at Thanksgiving or Christmas, gratitude and appreciation should be a daily attitude.

Intentionally feeling grateful every day and demonstrating your thankfulness to others will change your life and this is how.

According to an article published in inc.com, Nov. 25, 2015, there are at least, 9 Powerful Ways Gratitude Can Change Your Life, improving your psychological wellbeing, sleeping better, creating a physical change in your health and feeling less stress are only a few of the many benefits.

By slowing down and showing our gratitude to others not only will change our lives but will make others feel more appreciated, loved and happy. Spending time with your family and friends and really being present in the moment can cultivate gratitude. When you are grateful it will reflect back at you in a smile, a kind word or even a hug.

Just because you say you are grateful does not mean you truly feel it or mean it. Being grateful takes practice. We live in a world where stopping and saying thank-you is a not a common occurrence.  When was the last time you said thank-you to the grocery store cashier and called them by name? Or letting someone go in front of you in the check -out line.  These little moments of thoughtfulness add up to a better perspective of life. So, in order to see improvements in your quality of life because of gratitude it takes time and thoughtfulness.

According to, Dr. Robert Emmons, Professor at The University of California at Davis and one of the leading scholars in the positive psychology movement, author of “Thanks! How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier”: there are three stages of gratitude. Recognizing what we’re grateful for, acknowledging it, and appreciating it, Simple, right? And the benefits of practicing gratitude can be life altering.

In his book, Emmons states:

  • People Who regularly practice grateful thinking can increase their “set-point” for happiness by as much as 25 percent.
  • Such increases can be sustained over a period of months challenging the previously held notion to our “set-point” is frozen at birth.
  • Keeping a gratitude journal for as little as three weeks can result in better sleep and more energy.

So, during this busy holiday season remember to stop, breathe, put your cell phones aside and show your appreciation to your family and others around you. Your family will be happy, people around you will be happy and you will truly feel a sense of peace, calm and gratitude.